Military Jokes And Humor - Navy VS. Army

Military Jokes And Humor - Navy VS. ArmyMilitary Jokes And Humor - Navy VS. ArmyJokes among military membersare as old as the military and the branches themselves.Here are some classic Army and Navy jokes that are good G rated humor. This is standard West Point and Annapolis heckling. Jokes Against Army An Army football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the KMart came out and unplugged it. A Cadet and a Mid were strolling down the street when the Mid said, How sad, a dead bird. The Cadet looked up and said, Where, where? Navy is playing Army, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. An Army fan sets off a firecracker, and Navy, thinking its the end of the half, runs off the field. Three plays later, Army punts. Q Do you know why the Army football kollektiv should change its name to the Opossums?A Because they play dead at home and get killed on the ro ad. Q Why doesnt Army have ice on the sidelines during games?A The guy with the recipe graduated. Q. What do you get when you drive slowly by the Military Academy campus?A. A degree. Q What do a Navy Midshipman and a West Point Cadet have in common?A They both got accepted to West Point. Army Football Team Goes on a Break The Army coach gave his Army football team a few days off. Several decided to go down to Panama City Beach for fun and relaxation.Coach saw the players the first day back at practice and asked about their vacation. Not good coach, said the players. We never made it to the beach. Why not, the coach asked, car trouble? No, they replied, every few miles down the interstate we saw signs that said, Exit, Clean Restrooms. You have no idea how many restrooms we cleaned between West Point and Panama City. Army Football Recruits Two Army football players were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Military Academy. Soon after the test b egan the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, Old MacDonald had a what? The other replies, He had a farm. The first asks, How do you spell it? To which the second replied, E-I-E-I-O. USNA Grad Walks Into a Bar The Annapolis grad walked into the bar, sat down and said, Hey barkeep, you hear the joke about the four West Point players in a farmhouse? Chairs scraped behind him, and four of the biggest, meanest guys in the bar stood up. We played for Army. You sure you wanna tell that joke? The Navy grad smirked in disbelief and said, What, and have to explain it four times? More Anti-Army One Liners Q How many West Point plebes does it take to change a lightbulb?A None, its a second-year course. Q Did you hear that Army just bought twenty new septic tanks?A Yeah, and Army coach says as soon as they learn to drive them, theyre gonna invade Annapolis. Q How many Army Cadets does it take to change a tire?A Just one, but he gets four hours credit and it counts as a lab scienc e Q Whats the difference between a West Pointer and a catfish?A Ones a slimy, smelly, scumsucking bottom feeder, and the other is just a fish. Q What are the best four years of a West Pointers life?A Third grade. Q How come the Army football team doesnt have a website?A They cant string three Ws together. Q How many Army Cadets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A One he just holds onto the bulb and expects the world to revolve around him.

5 mistakes new college grads make as they enter entrepreneurship

5 mistakes new college grads make as they enter entrepreneurship5 mistakes new college grads make as they enter entrepreneurshipIts that time of year again. Thousands of qualified college graduates are getting set to enter the workforce. They were promised that their hard work and diligence will earn them an attractive job and a high chance of success. With ambition, motivation, and dreams, scores of young men and women will forge their way into the business world.Some of them have lofty goals of entrepreneurship. Many are under the impression that whatever works for high profile examples of successful leaders in business will also work for them. Public information and theory are often misleading, and so is attempting to imitate another companys or leaders blueprint.According to some experts, new college graduates often make five brutal mistakes as they try to navigate their potential new enterprise.1. Recent college graduates think they know a lot mora than they do upon graduationIm plementation is different from theory and ideas, so you need to be able to bring operational performance and many other skills to the table. Knowledge is one thing, but true execution will provide the experience you really need.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and more2. Many do not understand how funding works and the capital needed in the initial phases of a businessInexperienced people are misled when it comes to startup funding and what is needed to begin and grow a business. Often young founders dont think about basic concepts like unit economics, which is selling something for more than what it costs to make. Even some very well funded startups tend to ignore this.3. Raising funds does not equal successMany young entrepreneurs are focused on the superficial belief that the more money they raise, the more successful their business is going to be. While its true that, everything els e being equal, having more money to spend on your business is good, there is a lot more to it than that simple formula. Plenty of businesses fail because they raised too much money and it encouraged them to do things that didnt make sense.Many other businesses fail because they raised money that they believed would fund all of their dreams of growth, but it welchesnt nearly enough. Other businesses fail because they raise the wrong kind of money, such as debt they cant repay on time or equity that causes them to lose control of their business.4. Inexperienced founders often overestimate their own importance and dont appreciate the importance of the team they build around themIt is not easy to find skilled people who also happen to be a good fit for the culture and mission of your enterprise. This takes a lot more time, effort, and trial and error than many founders realize if they havent done it before.You need a great team to build a great team. But that the classic chicken and egg problem you have to solve. You have to be careful, and realize you will make mistakes, about who you hire early in the life of your company. Only offer substantial equity and responsibility to those who have proven themselves.Recognize your hiring mistakes and correct them quickly. Teams often dont rise to the level of their best people. They often sink to the level of their worst people. Keep that in mind as you build your company.5. Know and own your limitationsYoung innovators especially, though it applies even to more experienced entrepreneurs, tend to lack self-awareness of their own weaknesses. ansicht blind spots can be disastrous. Most highly successful people understand their weaknesses and surround themselves with others who can do what they cannot, who share a similar vision, and with whom they can collaborate. Inexperience can lead to overconfidence. This is an especially dangerous pitfall for early-stage startups and new entrepreneurs.Elizabeth Holmes and Theranos is a good example of the culmination of all five of these mistakes and what inexperience can do to a business idea. She raised $900 million. Her company was worth billions. She was on the cover of magazines and featured on TV shows and one of the best founders in a generation. But it ended in failure and she may go to prison for her behavior.There are real-world, and sometimes life-altering, consequences for making these mistakes. Think through your decisions carefully and be aware of the risks you take as you pursue your exciting and hopefully rewarding entrepreneurial journey.Christopher Grey is the cofounder and COO of CapLinked, an enterprise software company offering an information-control and risk-mitigation platform for the sharing of confidential or sensitive documents and communications outside of the enterprise. Previously, he was a senior executive and managing partner in private equity and corporate finance for 15 years. Grey founded two companies Crestridge Investments and Third Wave Partners and was managing director of a subsidiary of Emigrant Bank, the largest privately owned bank in the country.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

These are the 10 fittest cities in the United State

These are the 10 fittest cities in the United StateThese are the 10 fittest cities in the United StateIt is that wonderful time of year when The American College of Sports Medicine releases its annual rankings of Americas 100 Fittest Cities and you feel bad about skipping the gym for the third time this week.This is mostly because these rankings show that clearly many people are taking advantage of all the exercise options their city has to offer. Other factors that go into the rankings include fitness, nutrition, chronic disease, smoking, mental health, access to parks and public transportation.This year for the first time the index ranked the 100 largest cities, instead of the 50 largest metropolitan areas. So who came out on top?According to the 2018 ACSM American Fitness Index, the Top 10 fittest cities in the U.S. areArlington, VAMinneapolis, MNWashington, D.C.Madison, WIPortland, ORSeattle, WADenver, COSt. Paul, MNSan Jose, CABoise, IDAnd as for the least fit? Out of 100 cities these ranked last. 96. Toledo, OH 97. Detroit, MI 98. Louisville, KY 99. Indianapolis, IN 100. Oklahoma City, OKExercise helps you do your job betterThough 4.6% of residents walk or bike to work andmore than 75% of Americans reported being physically active within the last month, only about half of American adults meet the recommended aerobic activity guidelines. In other words, do not skip the gym today or choose to walk for only part of your commute.Looking for an inspiring way to start your day? Sign up forMorning MotivationIts our friendly Facebook robot that will send you a quick note every weekday morning to help you start strong. Sign up here by clicking Get StartedAccording to research from the University of Bristol, people who exercise on work days are more productive, happier and suffer less stress than on non-gym days 72%reported improvements in time management on exercise days compared to days they didnt work out, 79%said mental and interpersonal performance welches bet ter on workout days and 74%said they could control their workload more.Even if you are in a less fit city, there is always access to exercise. To view the full rankings go here.

Resume Numbers Game

Resume Numbers GameResume Numbers GameJohn Ord, a New York IT manager, stacked the resume deck in his favor every time he applied for a job opening.On the surface, it might look like John Ord got lucky.After a relatively short job search, he was offered an opportunity to be the cloud manager for an IT services company in New York with a prestigious list of clients. Now hes at the forefront of a hot technology discipline and working with some of the worlds leading financial companies.This is the trend to be in, in this business, Ord said. This is the right place at the right time.Whats more, Ord never really applied for the cloud manager job. Instead, he succeeded on the strength of his wider networking efforts.Ord treated his job search like it was a full-time job. He woke at 6 a.m. Monday to Friday, went to the gym, showered, ate breakfast and hit the job boards at full speed at 8 a.m. Breaking only for lunch, hed work his network, research the job market and talk to recruiters all day long. By 5 p.m., Ord would have applied to 20 to 30 jobs.I spent the whole day looking for jobs, Ord said. By doing that, I got my resume to lots and lots of recruiters.The manual effort was helpful, but the resume, he said, was his secret weapon.Without writing a new one from scratch, Ord tailored his resume to each job application by working from a master resume that detailed all his skills and experience. When he found targeted jobs that met his requirements, he cut extraneous information from this master document and submitted the relevant details. This system allowed him to send targeted resumes to multiple job postings quickly.The more kinds of resumes you can get out there the more opportunities will come your way, he said. And be aware of the broad range of skills that you offer. You get out what you put in. It is a numbers game.Thats why he was able to land this cloud job in June, Ord said. The recruiter who brought the opportunity to his attention had Ords resume on file from a previous job application and thought hed be a good candidate for the cloud manager position.I didnt apply specifically for this job, he said. Once I saw what the opportunity was, I was definitely interested.The strategy paid off. It worked so well, in fact, that Ord is still being approached by recruiters months later.

What the In-Crowd Wont Tell You About Grace Hopper Resume Database

What the In-Crowd Wont Tell You About Grace Hopper Resume Database To filter out the extra results, you have to exclude things from your results. Companies like ServiceNow want to devote quality time with you. If youre looking buy database lages outside america, including Canada, we database database country particular products. Some men and women put their contact number on their resume. Grace Hopper Resume Database and Grace Hopper Resume Database - The Perfect Combination Resume action is understood to be a resume view. Directly copying a CV design isnt always the most efficient remedy as it isnt always tailored to the requirements of the prospect. The tough part is coming up with the ideal design blueprint. The ETL processing will run because many tasks in parallel as possible and ought to run as fast as possible to make sure that further ETL and cube processing tasks have the time to finish. What Grace Hopper Resume Database Is - and What it Is Not Writing resume wi th the assistance of studienplan vitae templates easily on the world wide web is one of the most most efficient approach to publishing resumes that ensure that youre utilizing the right format and right information thats acceptable for the job that youre attempting to get. Once you buy, the template is forever your own, so its possible to upgrade once you have a title change or maybe desire to highlight a recent outcome. In case you think you dont should create a resume template thus you might love to read further to determine why precisely you wish to find out how to compose a resume. The whole total CV template and ideas concerning the precise CV design and CV layout ought to be only a final element. The Good, the Bad and Grace Hopper Resume Database Grace Hopper encouraged the identical behavior. A performing resume theme may be your key to obtaining the role of an eternity. One of the greatest parts about the Grace Hopper Celebration is the chance to discover new jobs. Besides her programming accomplishments, Hoppers legacy incorporates encouraging young folks to understand how to program. In some instances, a job posting could bring in a few of hundred resumes. Informational interviews can be great even when youre elend seeking work. Youre commenting using your FB account. Once endorsed, sourcing resumes by way of your employer account is totally free, and jobseeker data isnt redacted, however each jobseeker chooses the amount they have to share on the website. Whether you wish to complete an application to have a designers job in an innovative agency, or need to complete an application for a hot work in a substantial loan provider, professional resumes are going to have you covered. If you fill out an application for employment that you noticed advertised on the web or in your community newspapers, theres a superb likelihood which you will not wind up being submitting your resume personally. Type of Grace Hopper Resume Database The eve nt also includes mentoring circles. Business cards are a necessity for any attendee, even when you arent job hunting. Each work type needs different type of resumes. To learn it requires patience, support and room to grow. Below are only a few of the Labs open positions. Recruiters can easily type in a couple of important phrases and get a thorough collection of closest-match candidates Why its important to maintain a Structure Worker Curriculum vitae even as you work. Browsing for resumes is totally free and unrestricted and does not call for an account. If You Read Nothing Else Today, Read This Report on Grace Hopper Resume Database Startupers Startupers is a free resume database which makes it simple to resume candidate profiles due to a simple filter. Youre not restricted to the particular search terms utilized in the examples. When you find database that interests you, you can get in touch with the creator through the website. If youve exhausted your for search and wish to take cheap in a different direction youre able to database out people on LinkedIn who would like to relocate. Finding the Best Grace Hopper Resume Database Its possible to include Pongo Resume free its additionally a good resume builder website. Additional conference sponsors are found on the site. Get on the internet and log into the job panel or job application posting internet site in which you mean to post the continue. Should you do a google search for jobs at Wal-Mart, you will observe many websites which wont actually permit you to put in an application for a job. Why Almost Everything Youve Learned About Grace Hopper Resume Database Is Wrong Based on how niche the work opening is or how specific the location is, you will want to try a number of procedures to get the candidates you desire. Second, area codes dont always let you know where somebody is situated. You are able to use multiple location tools at the same time. There are plenty of techniques you can utilize to find Google resumes of people in a particular site. The Hidden Secret of Grace Hopper Resume Database Also make certain you tailor the record to the job which youre attempting to get. The only means to secure better is to practice There are a few things you should understand on how best to compose a resume. Youre going to need to be in a position to bring all of your cool swag home, and youre not going to need to be in pain every single day. Lies Youve Been Told About Grace Hopper Resume Database When there is mutual interest, an interview is going to be scheduled later the exact same moment. A summer time job by way of your granddad is not really important to list. Many people might never contact you, and a few will respond immediately or within days. Day 3 The day began with a distinctive scholars meet up. To conserve a whole lot of heartache in the future, make sure you use every one of our job application builder to earn a doc that might be easily tran sferred to unique job applications. The task for building your work application and using online usually takes many hours. When it comes to work, just speak with your manager and request the type of work you need and theyll make certain that you have it. Your resume will end up in an ATS eventually, although you might have networked your way through personal connections within the industry enterprise. How to Get Started with Grace Hopper Resume Database? Youre going to be surprised to comprehend a huge number of graduates cant find operate due to their insufficient work experience. If youre looking for a new job or mean to shift your present job then you need to create your resume in as many places as you can to raise your presence in leading with the probable companies. Lots of women turn down a chance to grow because it appears risky or they dont feel they have all the qualifications. Notably, its the biggest gathering of women technologists on the planet.

The Writing a Resume for Assistant Principal Trap

The Writing a Resume for Assistant Principal Trap List the ones that you are conversant with. A well written resume is one that is not so overwhelming in the opinion of employers. You have to get her attention quickly. There are lots of things to add to your resume if youre likely to make an application for the post of a principal. What is Really Happening with Writing a Resume for Assistant Principal There are a number of locations where you will receive good resume examples. There are lots of resume examples on the net, so all you have to do is search for them. Then you will move on to other resume examples that tell you just how to present your educational info and any special skills youve got. Writing a Resume for Assistant Principal Can Be Fun for Everyone The function of assistant principal for an elementary school differs from at a middle school or higher school. The letter continues in the second paragraph to spell out the forms of students she has taught, along with her most important strengths as an exceptional education teacher. In any event, an Education section is a significant part of a Principal resume. A resume for a school Principal should highlight just the reach of work and the educational level that shes overseeing. Writing a Resume for Assistant Principal Features Your cover letter must be tailored to fit the job which you are applying to. Keep in mind that your resume is your very first line of defense in regards to landing your final job. Additionally, it is going to supply you with a design of the resume which can be utilized to create your own. It is simpler than you might think to compose a superb administrative resume that may enable you to find the job of your dreams. The Unusual Secret of Writing a Resume for Assistant Principal In precisely the same way that you could reference resume samples, the next Assistant Principal cover letter example will enable you to compose a cover letter that most highlights your experience and qualifications. If youre thinking of writing a resume to submit an application for an elementary school principal position, youre going to be happy to know that its not so different from writing any other kind of resume. Have a look at My Perfect Cover Letters expert example to have the guidance you need to construct your own. Youre able to use your Academic Resume, and make some small adjustments to create an appearance of dedication. What Is So Fascinating About Writing a Resume for Assistant Principal? Keep in mind that HR personnel of the majority of firms are excellent in regards to detail. Marc Grandmaison Operations Director Marc is a very experienced, skilled, and talented hospitality professional that has been in the business for over 20 years. You have to be proficient with Microsoft Office, and can browse the internet and send emails without tripping up. There are quite a lot of spots on the web where you might acquire at no cost. Theres no opport unity to waste. Your resume should have proper amounts of spacing and ought to also be broken up into different segments utilizing proper headers. Resume examples for free will help you in a detailed course of on find out the way to compose your resume. Last but not least, consider the advantages and disadvantages. There are lots of chances in your job for quantification. Resume examples without having to spend a dime are available virtually anyplace. A straightforward online search can result in an enormous quantity of expertise about how to compose a resume, the way to layout a resume, the best way to amaze employers. Finding the Best Writing a Resume for Assistant Principal Most employers are very picky with respect to the selection of employees for a work opening. So, there are a number of tips for assistant principal resume. In lots of ways, individuals think that serving as an assistant principal is mora challenging than serving as a complete principal. Assistant p rincipals should have experience with student discipline along with adept management abilities.